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[solaran]

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for easy textspam shenaniganry while i rustle my brain cells for actual log tags

[somatosensory]

[solaran]

this would be easier on you if you just went back empty handed.

[somatosensory]

( would it, though? it's not like there hasn't been failed retrieval attempts. the target dead long before they get there ㅡ or worse.

the point is failure has always been an acceptable outcome. it's just not one he enjoys considering. )

Suddenly we're worrying about my feelings?
I'm touched.

[solaran]

trying to understand.

[somatosensory]

( how to explain? the more he thinks about it the more he realizes that he has no idea, really, why it'd have to be her of all the possible choices. what it's about her that stands out other than maybe her power.

and, oh, he's fascinated by that too, of course, how can he not be, but it has to be something other than that. an asset has never gotten this under his skin before. )

You're like an itch I can't scratch.
Persistent.
Painful.

( but he'll scratch himself bloody all the same. derive what satisfaction he can from the blood he draws in the process. )

[solaran]

if you ignore an itch, it goes away.

[somatosensory]

Is that what you want, Mavis? To be ignored.
Because you seem lonely to me.

[solaran]

i'm used to it.

[somatosensory]

But do you want it?

[solaran]

i thought you were psychic.

[somatosensory]

I'm still asking.

[solaran]

plenty of people are lonely.
it's no reason to erase yourself.

[somatosensory]

Why are you so sure that's what happens?

[solaran]

if i have droplets of sweat on my face and i splash water on it, what happens to the sweat?

[somatosensory]

You're more like the skin.
The only thing that changes is you have a little less water on your face.

[solaran]

i don't believe you.
i can hear you, you know.
your thoughts in my head.
others too but yours sound different.

[somatosensory]

( he's about to point of that that puts paid to what she's been saying, but then she mentions his voice in her head and he stops. pauses to reassess. )

How?

( curious rather than flat denial. because that shouldn't be possible. not yet, anyway. )

[solaran]

i only noticed after i left the clan
not sure if i heard them too or if it's because it's quiet
i can't help listening
can't turn it off
and your thoughts sound like ...
fuller
you know the way leather drums sort of echo?

[somatosensory]

So that's how you've been giving me the slip.

( fuck. fuck. fuck. )

[solaran]

surprise

[somatosensory]

How long?

[solaran]

i told you
since i left my clan

[ she takes this to mean 'how long have you been able to do this' ]

[somatosensory]

( fuck. but, also — ) That can't be possible.
That kind of power.
It comes out early if it comes out at all.

[solaran]

i guess you don't know everything

[ it's possible, she admits, that she'd been this way before. that it had just felt so normal that she hadn't thought anything of it, and isolation had only made those voices louder and more jarring to her. she'd grown more sensitive without the constant chorus. but she can't say for sure. the memories of childhood are too fuzzy, full of holes. ]

[somatosensory]

I know enough.

( bristling a little at the implication. he exhales through the frustration, though, shaking his head as if to clear it. )

I'm surprised they let you go, your people.
Even the most backwards clans know the value of people who can do that.