( he's about to point of that that puts paid to what she's been saying, but then she mentions his voice in her head and he stops. pauses to reassess. )
How?
( curious rather than flat denial. because that shouldn't be possible. not yet, anyway. )
i only noticed after i left the clan not sure if i heard them too or if it's because it's quiet i can't help listening can't turn it off and your thoughts sound like ... fuller you know the way leather drums sort of echo?
[ it's possible, she admits, that she'd been this way before. that it had just felt so normal that she hadn't thought anything of it, and isolation had only made those voices louder and more jarring to her. she'd grown more sensitive without the constant chorus. but she can't say for sure. the memories of childhood are too fuzzy, full of holes. ]
[ she won't let herself think of it that way, even as memories resurface. new ones. stings of disgust and pity when people looked at her. she'd always been dirt underfoot, when she'd lived in kuruko land. hadn't she? ]
( because he really doesn't get it, this enduring loyalty. she hadn't been in the camp. hadn't been near enough to get a real sense of her until they'd blundered right into each other hours later. )
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Because you seem lonely to me.
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it's no reason to erase yourself.
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The only thing that changes is you have a little less water on your face.
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i can hear you, you know.
your thoughts in my head.
others too but yours sound different.
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How?
( curious rather than flat denial. because that shouldn't be possible. not yet, anyway. )
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not sure if i heard them too or if it's because it's quiet
i can't help listening
can't turn it off
and your thoughts sound like ...
fuller
you know the way leather drums sort of echo?
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( fuck. fuck. fuck. )
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since i left my clan
[ she takes this to mean 'how long have you been able to do this' ]
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That kind of power.
It comes out early if it comes out at all.
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[ it's possible, she admits, that she'd been this way before. that it had just felt so normal that she hadn't thought anything of it, and isolation had only made those voices louder and more jarring to her. she'd grown more sensitive without the constant chorus. but she can't say for sure. the memories of childhood are too fuzzy, full of holes. ]
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( bristling a little at the implication. he exhales through the frustration, though, shaking his head as if to clear it. )
I'm surprised they let you go, your people.
Even the most backwards clans know the value of people who can do that.
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they were civilized enough to know better than to speak ill of the dead.
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( excuse him if he doesn't weep at their loss. )
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[ she won't let herself think of it that way, even as memories resurface. new ones. stings of disgust and pity when people looked at her. she'd always been dirt underfoot, when she'd lived in kuruko land. hadn't she? ]
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( because he really doesn't get it, this enduring loyalty. she hadn't been in the camp. hadn't been near enough to get a real sense of her until they'd blundered right into each other hours later. )
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